Apology to My 6 Year Old Son

OMG. Today, my son Carter gave me his blessing to find a husband.

Do not all line up at once MFs.

No, but for real. I thought about it after the fact and I realized where it was coming from. In the almost 4 years of doing this single mothering thing, I have had a lot of challenges and actually one very big regret. I started dating someone seriously about a year and a few months change after we left. I don’t think that was enough time to heal or fully grasp the scope of what healing looked like for me. I was vulnerable and got swept off my feet.

This person ended up meeting my son and when I realized the relationship was not right for us, I tried to convince myself it could still turn around. I felt obligated and trapped to stay and make it work because I had introduced my son to him. We didn’t hold hands, hardly hugged, and he didn’t stay the night. Still. I think my son always knew on some level, you know this dude is not the dude. It’s been about a year since we broke up but only recently since I really had some closure emotionally or just accepted it fully in my own heart.

Last week, C and I were at the dinner table and he asked if I was thinking about marrying my ex. I said no, and that we hadn’t been together for a long time, and actually that he went and married another woman. You know and I don’t know. I just felt very moved to apologize to my son.

So I did.

“Carter. Mama is not a perfect mom. I make mistakes sometimes. I know that you were not…