I guess this one is a mixed bag for me to unpack. I need to disclose that I’m also outside both communities. I’m Korean and not white or black.

I definitely see that some black men diss black women and are unbelievably disrespectful. Like, sociopolitical, politics of skin tone. I rebuke black men who date other races of women because they don’t want to deal with black Women. To me, that is fuckery.

If a black man is going to uphold white women or non black women to a pedastal, for status, for political gain and racial access to certain privileges by association. That is a real issue with some black men, rappers, etc. it’s a total clout thing and it’s fake as fuck.

I think we as women of color need to call that racialized, misogynistic behavior out. You know, white men do it too, they will uphold white women as pristine and the utmost. They will take a walk on the wild side and exoticize minority women but not necessarily settle down with us or “go there” for real.

Intersectionality and sexual politics are real. 100 percent.

So I also think white Women can totally take advantage of this and use it to further weaponize and exploit black men against their own communities. It’s really messed up.

I think that to participate in that kind of manipulative and disingenuous behavior is twofold; white Women’s ignorance and sense of ownership over black people. White men who are like this? The same. And sometimes if we as people of color, men or women who participate in this behavior, there is an issue of self hatred or an insecurity.

I don’t empathize for Black men who behave this way and I definitely think there’s some self respect issues there. But I will say that to deconstruct that involves some empathy for how different people of color wear their issues with self hatred and racial trauma. Some people are brave. Others are cowards, looking for the easy way out.