I Miss My White Friend, But I Had to Let Her Go Because We Were Just a Project to Her

Bree Yoo Sun Jung, 정 유선
9 min readJul 10, 2022

The following is based on the mythical White woman. It is purely opinion based and not written as material fact.

Source: powherredefined.com

I met a woman through a contract job I had teaching in the city. She was originally my client, and then I got her a job with the contractor because she was very sweet and bright. She wasn’t particularly qualified for the job on paper, but she had good teaching qualities, and honestly, I believe that saying, “Those who can’t do, teach” is true.

So I put her on with the contractor and at a well known country club in the city.

The jobs paid well and were flexible. She was also a student, and we had similar interests in mental health and the law intersecting in a more justice-oriented way.

To this day, I really miss my friend. But I had to let her go. She’s very wealthy, and she is white. She lives that lifestyle, but oddly, has a long history working in public service. I find that so, so odd.

Here’s what factors led up to me finally pulling the plug on the so-called friendship:

  1. I was watching an Instagram video in the Pros room one morning after teaching of my friend at a crying ceremony for Myron Dewey. She turned to me with an annoyed look on her face, her lip curled viciously, and said, “What. Is THAT?” I held up my phone and showed her, “My friend is at a funeral.” She stared at me with a blank look on her, her light green eyes glossing over with no feeling. I pushed my discomfort down into my gut because I wanted to believe she was not a racist. “He’s Native American,” I replied. Her tone changed entirely. But oddly, not her expression in her eyes. “Ooooooh!” She squealed. “Cool!”
  2. She had been telling me for over a month that she was struggling with long COVID, but still wanted to help me get ready for a proctored exam. I asked her if it was ok for me to borrow her laptop and watch my son while I took the exam. She agreed over 2 months before the exam, and came to my apartment one night to help me set it up on her computer. Before she came over, I told her three times I was going to make her some Korean soup which I felt would help her feel better. It was also a way to thank her for helping us. I asked if she liked…
Bree Yoo Sun Jung, 정 유선

I was formerly the young mother who leaned into destiny. But these days I'm young-ish. I write about race, motherhood, transracial adoption, and hood feminism.